Exposed: India’s Air Quality Monitors Inaccurate

The air is, in fact, healthy; no need to worry!

In a recent examination of the air quality monitors in India, it has been found that none of the monitors were tuned to the correct standards and have been recording air pollution readings higher than true. It has been confirmed that the air pollution, in fact, is up to the safety standards!

The inaccuracy was first detected when the air quality was recorded at poor level, while the monitor was turned off. “Perhaps, the monitoring station devices have some kind of mechanical memory, because of which it kept returning the same results, ranging between unhealthy and hazardous, every day. After tuning it to the new standards, we found out that the air in India is, in reality, safe and healthy!” said an air quality device engineer.

The coal and oil industry has welcomed this news with open arms. “To be frank, I was tired of hearing false claims that burning fossil fuels and industrial emissions are causing air pollution. It’s ridiculous, to say the least. Our industry’s work is closest to nature. We depend on mother nature, how can we think of destroying it when our profits come from it?” Mr Cole Myne, CEO of coal giant DigEarth.

Now that it has been established that the air pollution levels are within safety standards, many environmental NGOs and clean air activists have happily gone back to enjoying nature and not wasting their time in demanding #MyRightToBreathe.